Sunday, September 21, 2014


Fears... The funny thing about fears are that they have a way of climbing inside of a person and taking hold of them from the inside out until they are too afraid to continue. My fears are something like that.

Before I signed my contract, I liked to think that I had normal fears. Fears of the hospital, of one of my kids dying, losing control of everything, amongst so many others. Since I signed my contract with Luminosity, my fear now is, will I be able to write something as good as Love Me Tender again?

Love Me Tender has such a special place in my heart. Not because it's the first of hopefully many books to be published but because I feel like I put so much of myself into this. I read a quote on pinterest one time by Joss Whedon. It read 'I write to give myself strength. I write to be the characters that I am not. I write to explore all the things that I am afraid of.' This quote really resonated with me not only because for me it's true, but because when I write I can become anyone.

Love Me Tender had come to be because of a dream I had. What if I stop dreaming? What if I do write this other book and it doesn't get published. Does that mean I'm a failure? I've been pondering these questions for weeks but I've come up with my own answer. 'I got published.'

So with each day, I pick one of my fears with this book and I attempt to conquer it, but it has been hard. I've yet to make it past the point that I might not write another book worthy of publishing, but one thing is sure, I won't ever stop writing. It's in my soul.

Saturday, September 13, 2014


Today I helped my father celebrate his 60th Birthday and what a great day it was. I spent the morning with my sister and my son getting things together for the party and when we are together, there is nothing but laughter. Then add my M to the mix and all is lost. LOL. Anyway, it was a great morning.

As everyone started to arrive, I saw people I haven't seen in years and my heart grew a little bigger. The kids all started playing together and the adults quickly started to mingle. For a moment I sat back and took it all in. It's amazing how one man can bring all these people together. Whether its an uncle with stage 4 esophageal cancer or an aunt who is battling breast cancer or a very special family who drove 2 hours just to be there, we all came together for an afternoon just to celebrate him.

A little while later, Dad was opening his gifts and when he opened one I teared up little and of course got made fun of by my sister. She didn't understand and she probably won't until she is my age and had children of her own. The gift was a blanket made by that special family who drove two hours just to be there and it wasn't just another blanket. It was a blanket that had our family tree and different sayings that are near and dear to our family. It was the tightly woven strings and values of our family all together and that is why I teared up.

I am more guilty of this than anyone. I get so caught up with what is going on with my family that sometimes I forget that other lives are being lived all around me. Whether it's that uncle battling that stage four esophageal cancer, or that aunt fighting breast cancer, I am proud to be a part of a family who can take a moment from their life to make one moment memorable for another person. To me, that is what family is about. Caring so much for one another that you're willing to put everything on hold for them.

With my book being published and running the boys around plus starting back to work, the last few weeks have been insane. Tonight was a nice reminder of what is most important. Family. I walked around as everyone congratulated me on my book and told me how smart I was for this but something none of them realized was that they are each a little responsible for a tiny piece of that book. I'll explain why... that book was written by me and I am small pieces of each  of them pulled together over my 29 years. For that and for them I am thankful.

So with that, I challenge each of you to spend some time with your family's. Take a moment to find your roots and yourself again. Allow yourself to be reminded of who you are and who is responsible for helping you become that person today.

I leave you now to dream of memories from my childhood, thanks to that special friend (you know who you are). ;)

Sunday, September 7, 2014

Author Bio FINISHED! Yay!


Well, I just finished my author bio. After a couple of drinks and some sister time, I've finally figured it out. Now it's off to my Publisher to be posted on their webpage. I will tell you this though. It was a lot harder than I thought and it took a lot of research. I know. You're wondering what's so hard about telling about yourself? Well lots...

First of all, if you know me, I'm more apt to tell you about my kids boogers than something about me. Unless of course you are family and well then you are exposed to all kinds of Paisley and for that I am sorry.

Secondly, its hard capturing your life story in as little as 150 words. Sure it seems like a lot on paper but it's not really. It's like taking a snapshot of your life when in the grand scheme of things, there are really a million snapshots and you have to choose just one. It's impossible really.

Thirdly, write a bio on yourself and try to capture the important things about yourself. Like I have an awesome husband and two amazing kids. They are my life and I almost forget anything that happened before them. So then you have to dust off those old memories to conjure something up for the years prior to them. So many embarrassing moments you don't want to remember... *bangs head against wall*

Lastly, how do you tell people that before becoming a stay at home mom, you were a lost soul. You had absolutely no idea what you wanted to do with yourself and the last thing you expected was to become a paid author. It's insane right? I've decided that I'm just like anyone else and you know what? Who cares what they think about me. So what. I was a lost soul but I think I've found my niche now and I've never felt this comfortable in my own skin before now.

As I've mentioned before, this experience has taught me so much about myself and for that I am thankful. Each day I am learning and I'm loving it.

Follow Your Dreams!


Friday, September 5, 2014

Holy Moly I'm getting published...

So it has been a full week since I received news that Luminosity Publishing wants to publish my book, Love Me Tender.

I was sitting in my bed watching the news, getting ready to start my day when my phone buzzes to tell me that I have a new email. I look at it and see that it is from Luminosity Publishing and let me tell you, my heart sank. For the last 6 weeks I had prepared myself for the big let down. So imagine my surprise when I open my email and it says that Luminosity wants to publish my book. I had to read it twice. As you can imagine, I started jumping up and down on my poor old bed with tears streaking down my face. I call my husband, Jim and proceed to try to tell him what was going on but I'm crying so hard he cant understand me. When I calm down enough, he tells me that he loves me and Congratulations. Well the next phone calls were to my family (all before 7:00 am.) and then my close friends. It was an exciting moment for me.

I spent the next couple of hours smiling and saying that I was going to be published out loud. Going to bed that night was when it really hit me. SHIT. I'm going to be published. The anxiety that I felt just letting my family read my writing set in, only on a much larger scale. This contract is a worldwide contract. Any and everyone will be reading this. It's exciting and terrifying all at the same time. I almost didn't accept. After a long discussion with my husband we decided that I had to.

I received the contract on Monday. After a few hours perusing the contract I decided that everything looked good but wanted to talk to a few people before I signed it. It was about this time that I realized that the hard work was just beginning. Writing the book and editing it myself for submission wasn't the hardest part and my dream was always to be published. Now that I am going to be published, what do I do now and now there is all this pressure to come up with a second and third book. It's not like writing for my family anymore.

After a mini anxiety attack I put my big girl panties on and signed that contract determined to make it my bitch. A few minutes after submitting it, I received an email welcoming me to Luminosity. YAY right? I can breath. In the attachments there are two forms. They aren't too long so I open them. A cover questionnaire and an author biography. There are two things I am terrible at. Talking about myself and making important decisions. Here we go again...

I am proud to say that I've made it through the Cover Questionnaire and am looking forward to seeing the end result. Now I just need to get through the author biography. Should be simple enough.

The whole reason I am blogging about this is because, I used to think dreams never came true and that maybe things just weren't meant to happen for people so they didn't. I thought I was one of those people. I followed my dream and it is coming true. I am learning something new about myself everyday and am learning so much. Even if you don't think you are good enough, try! Try and never give up! You are the only one who can make it happen and you'll regret not trying!